complacency sucks

I haven't written in a minute. But here I am, and I'm literally dying...for change. But I want the change to have a hint of familiarity. sounds contradicting right? i know, but that's how my life feels right now. i have to groups of friends that i spend a majority of my time with and right now i'm seriously starting to dislike members of each crew. but they're all so tight within the groups that those whom i'd choose not to hang out with will probably ALWAYS be around. in my teacher friend clique...one member in particular hurt my feelings and has yet to sincerely apologize. now i know i should probably be less sensitive, i kinda can't help it. it's who i am. i've tried to just let it go, continue to be araound while still keeping my slight distance, but now even her laugh is annoying me. she's an intrical part of the group so i know anytime we hang out she'll be in the midst. i'm trying for the life of me to figure out what my problem with her really is, because the argument was really stupid and should've been solved almost immediately. she just took it further with a "sorry" apology.
my other group of friends make me feel like a tag-along. they're not all really my friends but more like girls that i know either through other people or from college. more of my "right now" friends. we have fun most of the time when we go out. they usually have more fun than i do because they're very **howard term** "extra". so sometimes i sit there feeling like an outsider because the things that amuse them are not funny at all to me. this is where my desire for change comes in...
for a short while my life was looking up. i was enjoying teaching, which made me not dread walking into that school building, "Whatever Education Center" is what we decided to call it. i was gaining new friends and spending more time out rather than alone in my home. but now it seems that time has ended, well it has dwindled, since one of my co-workers is sincerely annoying.
i get so wrapped up in complaining, i'm working on it. i shouldn't complain because despite feeling like a tag-along and my ONE co-worker, i enjoy going out with these ladies, and i should feel good that they choose to spend their time with me and include me in outings. lol...that sounds so...what's the word? corny maybe?
well that's all i have to say for now...ciao!