so life's been interesting to say the least...i'm hardly ever alone except for when i absolutely choose to be, which is the complete opposite of how things were just two months ago. In my old blog i talked a lot about my separation from people and how sad i was that several of my friends were so far away in different states, but i've made new friends and gotten closer to associates i've had since freshman year of college. honestly, i can't imagine my life right now without them.
i've also been dating this guy who is 10 years older than i am, which i had a problem with at first, but it's not such a big deal really. every time we hang out, i feel guilty though:-(. that's mainly because i'm not very attracted to him. he's a cool person, but there are deal breakers that i have that are interfering with the relationship. i think ALL women have "a list" of things they want in a boyfriend/husband. i know i definitely do lol. i first wrote one when i was like 10 or 11. some things have changed, but what's funny is most of them haven't.
First and foremost, the guy i'm with has to love my God...not just any god, but MY God--Jesus. the guy i'm dating now
said that he wouldn't necessarily call himself a Christian, which means he is NOT one because there should be no doubt about who you serve. that right there is a deal breaker. Now the next parts of the list are broken up into two categories: personality and appearance. Personality: He must be funny; if he can't make me laugh he's boring and must get the boot. He should be sensitive (not wussy sensitive, but caring and understanding, not hard, stern, and cold all the time). He should be ambitious and self-motivated--i'm not his mother, so i shouldn't have to check to make sure he's doing his self-improvement homework every night. he must also be intelligent. he doesn't have to be like ginsu knife sharp(is that how you spell it?), but definitely not the dullest knife in the drawer.
As for Appearance: I want someone taller than I am (so 5'10 and under need 
not apply:-) I also like athletic to slender build (i'm not into the teddy bears, but i've never tried so i could be wrong). I prefer chocolate men, but two of my exes prove otherwise. I am so attracted to smiles and dimples. they make me melt lol...
so anyway, i've thought a lot about this. i wonder what would be on my friends' lists. maybe i'll ask soon.
this is my life...
i'm sitting here wide awake, unable to sleep because my mind is so preoccupied. no matter what i'm doing or where i am, my mind can't help but wonder about a special someone whom i haven't spoken to in almost 2 months. life can be so weird. sometimes, i feel like it's moving along and i'm standing still watching it go by. i've kept a journal/diary since i was old enough to write and every now and then i go back and read the pages of my life. in one particular journal i started when i was a freshman in college, i wrote about this same special someone and how he made me feel when we'd talk or spend time together. now here i am six years later still thinking about the same person. so why the two month hiatus? it's because i can't call him...not that my phone is broken, nor that i've lost his number, but i became too emotionally invested in what turned out to be nothing at all. i have to spare my heart, and it's so hard to do too. i want to pick up the phone and dial his number just so i can hear his voice, but i stop myself every time because, while his actions were contradicting, he said he just wanted to be friends. clearly, that's not what i want, nor did i expect to hear that. i've dated a lot in the past two months, but he's who i'd rather spend my time with. because he has my mind preoccupied, it is really hard to get close to anyone else right now. this may sound elementary or junior high-ish but it's real. i have never felt the way i do about him for anybody else...but i can't call him to tell him so...
so about me...
i'm not new to blogging, just new to this site. i haven't written anything in a while so i thought i might try this out...i'm a lover of fashion, friends and fun. i'm the oldest of two, so i think that may manifest itself in my control issues lol...i'm also an elementary school teacher and i LOVE my babies! They're actually fifth graders and they hate when i call them babies, but they're still mine nonetheless. i used to model for about four years and have always been interested in clothes, shoes, purses, belts (especially belts, i own about 30 or so). My favorite site currently is Metrostyle.com. Check it out! i read about it in my new fave magazine Latina! a magazine especially geared toward women of color. while i'm not latina, i'm a firm believer that we both share african ancestry. i will definitely write some more, but now i need to be in bed. 6am is my daily reintroduction time to the world...and i need my beauty sleep. ciao bellas!
said that he wouldn't necessarily call himself a Christian, which means he is NOT one because there should be no doubt about who you serve. that right there is a deal breaker. Now the next parts of the list are broken up into two categories: personality and appearance. Personality: He must be funny; if he can't make me laugh he's boring and must get the boot. He should be sensitive (not wussy sensitive, but caring and understanding, not hard, stern, and cold all the time). He should be ambitious and self-motivated--i'm not his mother, so i shouldn't have to check to make sure he's doing his self-improvement homework every night. he must also be intelligent. he doesn't have to be like ginsu knife sharp(is that how you spell it?), but definitely not the dullest knife in the drawer.
not apply:-) I also like athletic to slender build (i'm not into the teddy bears, but i've never tried so i could be wrong). I prefer chocolate men, but two of my exes prove otherwise. I am so attracted to smiles and dimples. they make me melt lol...
