low expectations, or no expectations

which would u prefer from a man? both are quite disappointing, but it seems to be what i'm facing right now. prince said that he's been thinking a lot about us, our relationship, what's best for us, and i've finally gotten him to consider me and my feelings. he's finally starting to realize how his actions have affected me, and he said he doesn't want me to hate him 3 months from now. because then our relationship really wont go anywhere. i just feel like he realizes that i'm a good catch, but i'd be doing him a BIG favor if i just sat dusty on the shelf until he was ready in his life to come find me and dust me off. that's not going to happen. he still claims that my talking to JJ doesn't bother him but he brought it up soooo many times that i still think otherwise.

i'm just tired. for the last six years i haven't been with anyone consistently. a month or two here, a couple weeks there and i'm sick of it. i want a boyfriend, and prince should be it, but i wouldn't even set myself up for that drama. i want to just wash my hands of it all, because my life would be so much easier if i could put him behind me. he asked me if he's ever made me cry, and he has 3 times. but i only told him of one time when we had a really late convo that didn't end well and i decided for the umpteenth time that i was done. truth be told, he made me cry last night when he made up some bs excuse about not being able to call me. i want it to be done, but i also want it to work. sigh...

fixing me...

Wow, almost a month later and i'm finally posting again. i need to fix a couple things in my life, like one, stop being ashamed of my God. whenever i'm at church and i see a young couple sitting next to each other, i get so jealous because i want to be able to come to church with the guy in my life. but i never talk about God when i'm with the guys that i talk to. church i such a big part of my life and the last two guys i've talked to don't seem to be that interested in getting to know me. i want someone to ask me questions and genuinely try to find as much as they can about my life, my likes and dislikes, what makes me the happiest and what makes me cry. there has to be someone out there like that, who i don't consider to be just a friend.

this new guy i'm talking to is cool, but i'm losing interest. i don't believe in horoscopes, but i am sooo a gemini. nobody can keep my attention for longer than a couple months, but when they do it hasn't ended up well. i'll start to lose interest, and then he'll do something to bring my attention back to him, but after all that i usually fall hard and then the guy pulls back...sigh. i'll figure this whole dating thing out one of these days...all i have to say for now. ciao bellas!