i am so overwhelmed...the BIG test is coming up and i'm scared out of my mind. i feel so lost as to what i should be teaching and how to help my students who are struggling. i wish the year was over and my kids just did well so i wouldn't have to worry anymore. i'm so stressed that i'm taking it out on the kids...i find myself disinterested in planning--even more than usual--and i'm overly sarcastic with the children. i even embarrassed one of my students today, which i totally didn't mean to do but it came out and i felt so bad afterwards. i'm just frustrated and there's nothing i can do to fix it except try to relax. Relaxing...
now that's something i do NOT know how to do. all i've known my entire life is work work work, which is why i teach aftercare 2 days a week and saturday school in addition to my regular 8-3:30. i never sit down and just relax...i worked just as much in college, maybe more. its the only way i can remain productive. i get lazy and unmotivated the second i start to chill. i feel like i'll be this way my whole life, despite the fact that i want to vacation and travel. i know that i will be all about my husband when i get married, and my children will become my life. i try to take time for myself but i don't really know how to do that either.
i've tried to get to know myself. how do you do that? i learned a lot about me during college because i was thrown into such a different world (:-) but now that i am officially an adult, i have become boring again and i don't discover things about myself as often as i used to. sigh...what to do? what to do? i need someone to help me relax...
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